HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
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