Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
