His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
