They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
