You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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