I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
