I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
