he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
