it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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