I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
