Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
