Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
