U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
