carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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