he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
