apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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