saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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