Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize