at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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