Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
