You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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