We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
