Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Less talking, more tequila
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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