planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
