Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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