All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
you will always have a special place in my vag
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
