I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
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