Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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