And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Randomize
