There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
