You're my little dorito
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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