you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
