no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
i believe in u and ur pee
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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