Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
My vagina just clenched in fear
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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