I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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