I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize