Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
