ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
