This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
