So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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