Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
