so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
