you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
