I want to have your abortion
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
