I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You made out with two different species that night
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
