i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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