I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
