He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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