my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
