I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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