And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
