the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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