you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
too bad you live with your parents still
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
