It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
