You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
