So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
