Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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