You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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