we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
