I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
